My Journey
Rachel Glowacki, RYT, CYT
My journey began in the womb. I was created for a purpose but did not fully believe that until I was nineteen years old. Coming into this world feeling like I was a mistake led me to search for the answer to the question, “Why am I here, then?†Filling that void with the approval of others left me empty; starving myself to death left me empty; striving for perfection left me empty; filling my every waking moment with work left me empty. Things left me completely empty. So how should I look for peace? I am learning that peace is found by looking within and upwards toward God.
During the course of my journey I once coped with my pain by starving myself. My internal struggle of lack of control and acceptance manifested externally with loss of hair, black circles under my eyes, yellow nails, and bones sticking out. I actually believed that the more I starved, the more beautiful I would be, resulting in my being more accepted and loved. I ended up losing my true self in unhealthy relationships, believing I wasn’t worthy of being loved and respected. Now, I am ironically married to a magnificent chef and best friend, I love food, and I love life. I am arriving at this joy-centered place through the Divine influence upon my heart, professional counseling, faithful friends and family, and learning and practicing new ways to nourish my mind, body and spirit. I am completely free from the bondage of wanting to be thin. I believe that I am beautiful, which is absolutely liberating.
Part of the sickness of starving myself was striving for perfection and filling my time with constant activity so I didn’t have to think about the pain. A pretty smile became my mask, but, despite the fact that I undertook many of my roles, in retrospect, to fill the void in my soul, I can embrace them as having shaped my life and having led me to where I am today. Those activities including being a teacher, lifeguard, nanny, home school teacher, youth group leader, fitness instructor, care-taker of a quadriplegic, and English teacher in a third world country. None of those life-shaping endeavors can compare to the true meaning of love and finding that love. The love of myself and the worth I have in the eyes of the Creator of the Universe. There is no greater love than the love of my husband, Casey and children, Liam and Grey. It is because of Gods grace and the love of my family that I am finding contentment despite circumstances; communication despite conflict; commitment despite feelings. I am learning that love is an action. I am learning to pray each day that I will be open and willing to love myself and those around me. Above all else, I am accepting that the truth about the journey is that I will never arrive, but be ever present in the moment, ever growing, learning, discovering and becoming the person that God created me to be.
I am finding my purpose through the art and science of Hatha yoga. Thanks to my teacher Brooke Boon (E-RYT, CYT) the Founder of Holy Yoga which is an International Registered School of yoga dedicated to facilitating Holy Yoga Ministries throughout the world. She is an energetic and dedicated lover of the Lord, the Word and yoga. She creatively weaves Christian spirituality, physical alignment, practical wisdom and the Word into the fabric of her teaching. I have been physically, emotionally and spiritually changed since I have incorporated the yoga practice into my life. Yoga literally means to yoke or to unite your heart, mind and body into a harmonious homeostasis state. Yoga has become as natural as brushing my teeth. I naturally moved toward yoga to combine all the components of health and fitness in my life. For me, yoga integrates a whole sense of being that unites my breath through movement which creates calmness and clarity. I have been practicing yoga for about 7 years now and find that it teaches me about life. Our physical bodies teach us about our emotional bodies, our inner flexibility, strength, and endurance. Characteristics such as patience, balance, humility and self control aid us through life, relationships, and ourselves. And the yoga bottom we are all striving for is the icing on the cake! The real riches of yoga are found when you breathe in the essence of the Holy Spirit throughout the stresses of life. Then you will transcend above all understanding because The Spirit of God is guarding your heart and mind, through Christ.